Tuesday, March 26, 2013

One step forward, two steps back

This past weekend was a good one; John, Mady, and I enjoyed some time by the pool and also took Mady to feed some ducks at a pond close to our house. It felt pretty good to be back to somewhat "normal". Yesterday was my first day "alone" since everything has happened; it was very strange. I am trying to get back into full mommy mode and stay busy with Mady but my heart is still longing to have my little Ava here. I overhear conversations with people talking about their newborn keeping them awake all night. Oh how I wish I was able to be up all night with my baby. I would take a million sleepless nights to have her here with us. If I have learned anything from this; it's to never take one moment for granted with your family. Everything we have is a gift from God and he can take it from us in a second, so hug your babies and children tight and focus on the positive things instead of the negative.

As tragic as it has been losing sweet Ava; it has brought our family so much closer together. I have never felt so loved as i do now by my husband and truly thank God for blessing me with the perfect mate for life. I couldn't ask for a better husband/daddy. I know that even though the days ahead will be tough; we can get through them together as a family and with God. I found this pic of John and I the other day; it is one of our engagement photos. We were so young and carefree back then. When I am having a rough day, I look at this pic and it makes me smile thinking about how happy we were and hopeful that the happiness that we had will return soon. I know that God is making us stronger as a couple, as parents, and as a family through this horrible trial. I ask that you keep us in your prayers that we stay close to him.

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