Another school year.....here we go!!

Well, it is that time of the year again and this year it came so very fast.  In our family's case, it is great because Mady absolutely loves school and would probably pitch a tent and live there if she could, well not really...but maybe;)  I haven't been blogging as regularly as I was back in the spring; but boy have I missed.  In all honesty, we have had a very busy summer with travels, activities, and such so there really has not been a lot of free time for me to sit down and make a post.

Mady starts her first day of Pre-K tomorrow and I totally have mixed emotions about that.  I am thrilled that she is growing into her own little person, but sometimes I just wish that things would slow down just a bit and that they could be our babies for a little longer;)  She always makes a point of telling me that "Mommy, I'm not a baby anymore, I'm a big girl"!! She really is growing up so fast and making us very proud of the little girl that she is becoming.  Not that it doesn't come with struggles because it absolutely does! ha! We are working on some things with her right now and I will just say that by the end of a very long week, I am frazzled to say the least! haha!  I thank God for my Madelyn though, she is truly my little mini-mi which is why we tend to clash sometimes...we are too much alike:)

So, how are we doing as a family?  We are doing ok....not great, not bad....just ok.  we are totally depending on God to strengthen us through all of these trials and I trust that he will in his own time.  This time of the year is a little hard for me right now just remembering that we were newly pregnant with Ava this week last year and didn't even know it yet.  I had an idea, but wasn't 100% sure.  Mady has been telling me things lately that really make me wonder how much that she sees of little Ava.  She tells me that Ava visits her at night in her room and tells Mady that she is being a big girl because she is sleeping in her own bed.  we have been having problems with Mady sleeping lately.  I asked Mady what Ava looked like and she responded that she was a baby with wings and she was white and glowing.  I asked Mady if Ava was happy and Mady replied "yes mommy, Ava loves being with Jesus", he is my friend too." "He also loves you and daddy too". That brought me to tears.  How do I not believe my child on this matter?  These little conversations that Mady and I have really have helped me deal so much better with everything.  I truly believe that Ava is and always will be Mady's guardian angel watching over her and that brings me tears of happiness.  Oh what I wouldn't give to get one glimpse of how beautiful my little Angel Ava is up in heaven.  I'm sure she is breathtaking.

Some days are still really hard, but they are few and far between.  God is really helping us walk through this daunting road right now.  We are really just trying to be close as a family and grow closer to God through this.  We have been talking about possibly having another baby or maybe even adoption.  We are just in the process of talking so no decisions have been made yet but we are really leaning on God for this.  We definitely want another child, it is just a matter if God wants us to have one or not.  We will wait and trust.....I am also toying with the idea of writing a book about my experience with losing Ava and everything that I/my family went through.  I also want to possibly get back into counseling of a different kind; I want to help families who have lost babies the same way we did or people dealing with any kind of infant loss whether that be stillbirth, miscarriage, etc.  I feel very passionately about helping others get through this horrible time especially since I have been through the same thing.  So, I have some things that I would really like to start doing soon but i will need some serious prayers and encouragement.  Thank you all who read this and for your continued prayer and support, it is greatly appreciated.  God Bless you all!! Much love to everyone